Riding up in the service elevator of an apartment building on Park Avenue.
It's packed pretty tight with other delivery guys, and I'm pressed right up against the elevator operator.
He's had a tracheotomy, and has one of those weird amplifiers he holds up to his neck to talk.
He catches me looking at him and puts the device to his neck.
" You know how I got this way?"
" Uh, no."
" Eating pussy!"
When he holds the machine against the heel of his hand, it makes a buzzing sound which he uses to substitute for laughter.
" BZZZZZZZZZZZ!"
" When they cut me open, they found all kinds of hair in there. Blonde ones, black ones, red ones...
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..."
All the delivery guys were sort of laughing uncomfortably.
" You get it? Pussy hair! Red ones, blonde ones...BZZZZZZZZZ!"